Hi Reader,
Between today's Full Moon in Leo and deep creative inspiration from Kendrick's absolutely iconic Super Bowl performance, I am taking the metaphoric mic for a moment 🎤.
It's story time - and this one's about ancestry, legacy, creative rebellion and liberation. (If you want to skip ahead, you can read more about The Everyday Artist Community here).
A few months ago, around Día de Muertos, I started to feel an intense curiosity to dive deeper into my ancestry, specifically around my paternal grandfather, Amiss Wilson.
My father wasn’t raised by Amiss, barely knew him and historically hasn’t spoken all that much about him (to me) but has always kept the one picture he has of him prominently featured in his home.
I’ve always been drawn to the picture because physically, I see so much of my dad, my brothers and myself in his smile and his other features.
And emotionally I’ve been drawn to it because, as someone who has always been extremely creative but hasn’t always had the easiest time expressing that creativity, it was inspiring to see an ancestor so at ease in their artistry.
I noticed not just his ease but how joyful….even radiant……he appeared at his piano.
My father had shared that Amiss was a known pianist but besides the fact that he wasn’t really around to raise my father and his brothers, I didn’t know much else about him.
So when Día de Muertos rolled around, I started to ask my dad more questions about Amiss - anything to get a sense of who he was beyond this picture.
What kind of person was he?
What was he like?
Given my father barely spoke about him, I didn’t really expect much, so I was surprised - shocked even - when he told me that although he only had a few encounters with him, that Amiss was one of the most kind and gentle people he had ever met.
Because my grandfather wasn’t around to raise his kids, I honestly made a lot of (negative) assumptions about him so when my dad shared this with me, I felt the world tilt a little bit.
I had created an identity around him that wasn’t true to who he was which begged me to ask myself, what else? What other truths about him did I not know?
Whatever you want to call it…..a Projector hole, an ADHD hyper fixation (IYKYK)……I went into deep research mode, signed up for a number of free trials for obituary and archival databases and discovered a story - his history - that rocked my entire world.
I not only found his obituary but I found numerous newspaper articles calling my grandfather the “Minstrel of Detroit” and detailing his notable piano performances that he became known for.
Growing up, one of my half brothers was an actor and artist and my own father was/is an incredible writer/speaker and was often making crafts with me (I also maybe forced him) so I had a feeling my own creativity had a lot of roots in my paternal lineage but to see my own grandfather be praised for his artistry, began to paint a picture and put puzzle pieces together I never could have imagined.
………And then I stumbled upon one final newspaper article.
It was titled: “Mental Escapee Captured”
At first I was confused as to what I was looking at - almost certain that the database was showing me incorrect articles.
But then I kept reading.
I read of a man - an accomplished pianist - my grandfather, Amiss, who:
- Got put into an insane asylum while in Philadelphia
- Escaped from said insane asylum all the way to Kansas
- Began performing at a notable Kansas club as one of their first black pianists
- Got a newspaper article written about him and the excellence of his performances
- Police saw the newspaper article, re-captured him, took him back to Philadelphia and put him back into the insane asylum
I burst into tears after reading this purely from the shock of it all.
A black artist in racist AF 1950s, poor and trying to make a living, most likely neurodivergent with high sensitivity, probably deep feeling and prone to anxiety and depression……of course he had some sort of emotional breakdown.
And instead of getting support, he got thrown into an insane asylum (has anything really changed 😒).
When I asked my dad if he knew about this he said he did but that the whole family at the time knew he wasn’t crazy or dangerous; that he was an artist and nomad, a kind and deeply sensitive person, was just trying to make a living and was having a hard time.
I’ve always known my creativity, high sensitivity and patterns of anxiety and depression likely had roots from my father's side but to see it go back another generation was equal parts shocking and also…….healing.
For about a day, all I could focus on was how my own creative blocks made a lot more sense and how some of those “blocks” might not be blocks at all but actually generational trauma responses.
Why would it feel safe to be creative when my own history with it is entangled with poverty? Emotional breakdowns? That I could get locked up - literally - for it?
As you can imagine, I had to do quite a bit of my own EFT Tapping and processing around all of this information.
But once I got past the shock and devastation of knowing my grandfather got put into an insane asylum simply for being a black man / artist experiencing a mental health crisis, I was able to focus on his creative courage and resiliency.
Because who the hell escapes a mental institution in one state to make sure he makes it to his piano residency in another state?? I’m certain, along with the fact that he wasn’t actually crazy, that’s why he hightailed it out of there.
Honestly, it’s kind of iconic. Big trickster energy. Currently trying to figure out his birthdate to figure out if that man was a Gemini lol.
But I digress.
The more I focused on the fact that my grandfather wasn’t going to let anything or anyone stop him from being free and doing his art, the more I realized how brave he was.
He was nowhere near perfect (we can't forget that his kids barely knew him and vise versa), but he was brave in his own way.
And not just brave……but exceptional at his craft.
He was so talented at playing the piano, as one of the club’s first black pianists, that the Kansas newspaper wrote about him and that newspaper article ironically is the only thing that got him found and re-captured by the Philadelphia police.
As I was processing all of this - the devastation and the inspiration - I didn’t really know what to do with it but I knew I needed to do something.
Around the same time this was happening, I had also started the 11 Day Everyday Artist Challenge and decided to use the challenge for some sort of healing around this whole thing.
I wanted to connect with my grandfather, honor his story and legacy and also tap into my own creative rebellion.
So, every day of the challenge I asked Amiss how he would like to be honored? How could I make art from his story?
And everyday, as I shared with the participants of the challenge, it became clearer and clearer.
I tapped into my own Gemini trickster energy and I began to turn the newspaper article, which was meant to highlight how a “mental escapee” had gotten (re)captured and turned it into a multidimensional offering and ode to the story behind the story.
A story of trauma, creativity, rebellion, art and freedom.
It was his story but it was also my own. It was a healing I had no idea I needed and a puzzle piece I had no idea was missing.
But it was through re-defining his story from one of shame and loss to one of hope and dignity that I was able to transform my own story around what it means to be creative and what it means to be an artist.
That my creative blocks (at least some of them) were clever generational traumas trying to protect me; that artistry is literally in my blood; that to create is to heal.
And I couldn’t have done it without showing up day after day for my creativity and without The Everyday Artist virtual container to witness, hold and encourage me.
This is a huge reason as to why I decided to move it from just being another multiple day “challenge” to an ongoing community…….because I saw what’s possible.
I saw what an intentional creative community, rooted in emotional regulation, not only did for my own creative courage but what it did for others - from new recipes, to movement practices, to heritage cookbooks and artisan pottery lines to simply resting - that when we create spaces for true creative exploration, profound change becomes inevitable.
So, consider this the official (long winded) announcement for The Everyday Artist Community.
TEA’s doors are now open and you can find out more information here - we will start (or deepen) our creative journey on March 12th, the Virgo Full Moon.
I’ll be writing more about the virtual space and what you can expect in the next couple of weeks but I am very excited for this next chapter of creativity, purpose, and community building.
And I'm curious - what stories of creative courage live in your lineage? What parts of your creative identity are waiting to be reclaimed?
Sending you care,
Bianca