Hi Reader,
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For the last year I've talked about auditioning for short films and yet week after week, I found myself doing literally anything besides finding films and submitting myself.
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It wasn't until I recently started co-creating my own short film - which is requiring entirely new levels of creativity and vulnerability - that I realized how scared I actually felt around putting myself out there in this new creative way.
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I realized that I wasn't "too busy" to audition for short films (after all, I have read 300 pages of a fantasy novel in one night ๐).
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I was procrastinating.
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Because........I was scared.
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Scared to do something I've never done before; to admit this is something that I want; to actually go after what I want.
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It's extremely vulnerable to admit your (true) desires, especially if you feel any sort of shame around them, let alone start taking action towards them.
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I voiced this fear in The Everyday Artist Community and it ended up being, as always, a collective experience beyond just my own fear.
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We did a quick group tapping and then I let the group gently hold me accountable to use our time shared together to find short films that inspired me.
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This was 1 week ago and I not only have auditioned but am receiving callbacks.
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Why do I mention this?
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Because if you read last week's newsletter, you saw where I talked about how your nervous system is highjacking your creativity.
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And how you.....we......this world......need your creativity, your imagination, your unique expression, your ideas now more than ever.
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How so many of you talk to me about the creative ideas / projects you want to start, continue or finish but can never seem to get around to it.
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How when you sit down at your computer to write that blogpost, suddenly you have to go reorganize your closet.
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Or when you open your laptop to work on that creative idea, you find yourself scrolling on Instagram for 45 minutes.
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Or you suddenly remember seventeen urgent errands that must be done right now.
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Most people try to solve creative procrastination by pushing harder, setting stricter deadlines, or finding better productivity systems.
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But here's what I've learned after years of working with artists, creative folks and entrepreneurs struggling with procrastination and finishing (or starting) their creative ideas (self included): your avoidance isn't a character flaw.
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It's your nervous system trying to protect you from something that once felt unsafe.
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Procrastination Is Protection
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I really want you to hear that and see how your nervous system might actually relax when you hear this: procrastination is protection.
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It's not a character flaw. You're not lazy. There's nothing wrong with you.
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Your nervous system is telling you what you're doing doesn't feel safe. It probably is safe physically, but it doesn't feel safe emotionally.
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Procrastination is a stress response. It can look like a freeze response where you're literally frozen, or a flight response where you suddenly have a million urgent things to do.
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When we have stressful experiences and don't release the stress, your nervous system takes a snapshot and stores it to make sure that thing it experienced as scary or dangerous doesn't happen again.
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Anything that resembles that stress triggers the alarm - "We already went through this. We're not going through this again."
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If you grew up where being creative was seen as frivolous or a waste of time, of course your body is going to be in protection mode when you try to create now.
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What Your Procrastination Is Actually Protecting You From
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So what are these fears that procrastination is trying to shield you from? Just notice which ones resonate:
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Fear of judgment or criticism. Your nervous system remembers that sting of being told your ideas were "too much" or "not enough."
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Fear of success or being seen. For many people, especially marginalized folks, being in the spotlight can feel dangerous because in the past, it may actually have been.
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Fear of failure. What if everyone sees I'm not as talented as they thought? That's not just a thought - it's a blueprint in your nervous system from when something stressful happened before.
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Fear of outgrowing people. You start to grow and express yourself differently. People might not like that. They might get triggered by your changing.
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Fear of your own power. If you're used to fitting yourself into a certain box, accessing and expressing more of your power can feel dangerous.
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And this one takes me out every time: Sometimes procrastination is protecting dreams that feel too precious to risk.
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Our creativity is part of our life force, part of our expression. If you grew up where your expression was ridiculed or suppressed, it's going to feel risky to put those creative ideas and dreams out into the world.
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Maybe you care about it so much that you can't risk putting this out there.
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Because if someone doesn't love this, it feels like someone's saying "ew" to YOU.
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A note on generational patterns: This protection can even be inherited - patterns passed down through generations where it didn't feel safe to express creatively. These protective responses can show up in your nervous system even if you've never personally experienced creative trauma. (If you want to read more about inherited/generational creative blocks and trauma, you can read more about it here)
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Working With Your Procrastination, Not Against It
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Here's what I love combining EFT Tapping with our creative procrastination: we're not bypassing the experience or trying to push through the block.
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We're acknowledging it. When we tap, we're saying "I see you, nervous system. I'm going to take care of this response so that I can take a different action."
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The beauty of this? We're not gaslighting ourselves. When we try to push through procrastination, we actually reinforce the idea that what we're trying to do creatively is unsafe.
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That it's too hard. Too much. Too risky. Too _________
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So then we avoid, feel shame about the avoidance and so the cycle perpetuates.
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But we can interrupt this cycle.
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This Live EFT Tapping for Creative Blocks was very helpful for people.
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When we pause and tap, we're telling our body: "Maybe I can have a different experience around this. Maybe this time can actually feel easier. Maybe I can finish what I started (or start in the first place)."
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A Gentle Invitation
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these words, I want you to know: there's nothing wrong with you. You're not lazy. You don't lack motivation.
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Your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do - protect you.
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But what if instead of fighting the resistance, you could partner with it? What if your procrastination actually has information that could help you move forward?
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The next time you find yourself procrastinating on that creative project, take a breath and say: "Thank you, nervous system. I hear that you're trying to protect me right now. Thanks for showing up."
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Then ask: "What is this trying to tell me? What am I actually afraid of here?"
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And see if that Live Tapping on Creative Blocks helps.
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And remember: we need what you have to offer. The world needs creativity that isn't just for consumption or profit, but creativity that makes a difference. Creativity that helps us fill our own cups and remember joy is still available to us. Creativity that offers new ways of thinking and being in relationship with each other.
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Your procrastination isn't the enemy. It's information. And when you can work with it instead of against it, that's when the real creative magic happens.
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For those ready to take the next or first step with a creative idea or project that you want to stop avoiding, I'm currently offering Procrastination to Creation sessions for you to take that idea from "drafts" to completion - using creative block release, a nervous system approved action plan and gentle accountability.
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Sending you a lot of care,
Bianca
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p.s - If working 1:1 with me is not where you're at right now, The Everyday Artist Community is a lower commitment weekly space where you can show up with a current creative endeavor or hobby you're starting / continuing / finishing and get both real time nervous system regulation breakthroughs with EFT Tapping and creative breakthroughs through dedicated creative time with community
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