*estimated read time: 3 minutes*
Hi Reader,
It’s been over a month since I’ve written a newsletter and it hasn’t been because I didn’t want to but more so because a lot has been happening behind the scenes.
Besides performing in my first improv show at Westside Comedy Theatre - which was incredible - nothing has been particularly glamorous or overt and at the same time it’s been deeply important.
Some of which has been:
- Observing the genocidal circus that is our government (cannot recommend Naomi Klein’s ‘Doppelganger’ enough - thank you Brionna Ned)
- Continuing on The Deepening - Toi Marie’s year long curated reading journey to enhance political insight, historical awareness and commitment to embodied social change
- Doing some very deep healing around my sexuality
- Building queer community
- Tending to my creativity with weekly creative dates
- Rereading a chapter per night of bell hooks' All About Love
One of the biggest things I’ve been in the process of doing behind the scenes is shifting my business (again) and this time I am doing it in community with other entrepreneurial friends who are trying to do and create things.......differently.
It’s not sexy work (look no further than my 6 hour SEO holes 🙂) but it’s critical work for creating the solid foundations we need for making our work peaceful, sustainable and joyful in the long term.
I’ve been reminded, especially during Virgo season, that the fulfillment of our dreams - both collective and personal - is in the details; in the commitment to consistency (whatever / however ‘consistency’ looks to you).
That there is magic in the mundane.
Part of that magic has been co-creating two workshops with some of my dearest in my community:
1.) Interrupting the Nonprofit Burnout Cycle with Brionna Ned
2.) Conflict Transformation for Workplace Relationships with Serian Strauss.
Both of these workshops, in different ways, are a conglomeration of many of the skills, learning and training that we have all integrated over the years and structured in a way that feels like is gently meeting the current moment many find themselves in.
A necessary mixture of regulation and reflection tools with tangible, applicable and accessible practices for action and change.
And isn’t that how it goes? The 5% of what we “present” to the external world is because of 95% of the work that’s been happening behind the scenes?
Serian actually just shared with me this week that they were almost done with converting their shed into a separate living unit and community space in their backyard - something they have been talking and dreaming about for a very long time.
I was shocked at how how quickly I thought it had come together since it seemed like they had just started working on it so I asked them “what do you mean? Didn’t you just start working on that?”
They said "No", they had actually been working on it for MONTHS but hadn’t shared about it.
Of course.......I should have known.
Hardly do things just “happen” in these one fell swoops that our brains - and social media - like us to believe.
It seems obvious but I really do think we forget.
Forget about all of the things that happen behind closed doors that we may never know or see: the research, the breakdowns, feeling stuck, healing, toiling, being overwhelmed, brainstorming, breaking down (again), breaking through, giving it a break, walking away, getting inspired, getting frustrated, resting, celebrating.
My improv show for example - people saw me on stage as the best version of myself: performing, laughing, making them laugh, free, confident.
But what they didn’t see were:
- the weeks of classes before the show
- the hours of watching improv shows on TV and in person
- EFT sessions - to release generational creative trauma on top of my own creative traumas, fears and blocks
- 2 years of rigorous acting school
- 5.5 years of working a corporate job and realizing I (my soul) was never going to be able to make it work
- 33 years of being a shadow artist and suppressing/hiding my love for acting and performing
There was a whole a** unseen odyssey before those 30 minutes on stage.
It feels important more than ever to remember, or at least keep in mind, how much it actually takes to fulfill a dream; to make change; to build something.
Emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally, financially.
It takes paying close attention; taking risks; not always knowing but also not getting bamboozled; following your instinct.
And I don’t just mean in our personal lives.
I never just mean in our personal lives.
I think it can be very easy now, especially as we watch the structures around us unceremoniously crumble and more of us begin to *mildly* understand what it might take to build a more caring world, to get overwhelmed and/or want to skip steps; to ignore the details.
To stay vague; uninformed; holding on for dear life to old outdated information and ways of being and existing.
But now really isn't really the time to skip steps because when we consistently skip steps, is what we're building really being built to last? create whatever change we are looking to make?
And I think a lot of us, whether we are talking about our personal dreams or dreaming bigger for our collective, are ultimately trying to build something that’s meaningful.
Cheering for your greatness,
Bianca