Hi Reader,
This week marks my 7 year anniversary of creative entrepreneurship.
Which is......wow.
Ironically, without knowing this, someone this week actually asked me about my entrepreneurial journey.
She asked specifically if leaving my corporate job felt like a spiritual awakening or some type of a rebirth experience.
And my answer was immediately yes………and that's putting it lightly.
Because what they don't talk about with entrepreneurship is the death experience that can happen with it - at least for me it did.
Death to a version of myself deeply entangled with:
- validation through achievement
- grind mode as success
- busyness as a best friend
- the belief that creativity was reserved for "professional" creatives and artists.
A version of myself that operated from a deep place of wounding where everything I did often had the underlying energy and unspoken question of:
- "Am I enough?"
- "Am I doing this right?"
- "Do you see me?"
A version of myself that desperately was trying to force myself into molds, environments and relationships that could not hold me or really see me and I was really never meant to fit within.
A version of myself that was so terrified of my own desires, that I created a world around me that was in direct contrast to who I really was and what I really wanted - creative and otherwise.
For a long time in my life I waited for permission to do the thing I wanted to do, be the version of myself that I could feel deep inside but was petrified (and quite frankly traumatized) to let out.
What I've come to realize is that no one is going to give you that permission slip.
We wait for permission that never comes, because the only permission that actually matters is the one we give ourselves.
And in leaving my (creative adjacent) corporate job all those years ago, I learned another important truth:
Your creativity doesn't need credentials.
Whew.
I have so much compassion for my past self who very much believed otherwise.
Because the truth is, we do what we need to do to survive, and sometimes that means keeping parts of ourselves small, hidden, or "properly credentialed" before we feel worthy of expression.
The Credential Myth I Had to Break
When I left my job at Apple's advertising agency, I was terrified that without those corporate credentials, the work I actually wanted to do, the person I actually wanted to be and my own unique creative and self expression wouldn't matter.
"Who am I to __" (create / say / do this thing or be the type of person who does x,y,z)?"
It's a question so many of us carry – this belief that our creativity (or any part of our self expression) needs to be validated, certified, approved by some external authority before it's worthy of being shared.
Again, we wait for permission that never comes.
But there's something deeply liberating about finally recognizing that the permission slip was inside us all along.
What 7 Years Has Taught Me
If I could go back and whisper something to the version of myself hiding in her car in between meetings, exhausted with a nervous system on fire, dreaming of a different way of living and working……
……..or the version of myself that was trying to build a business based off of what others would deem as "valid", it would be this:
- Your Nervous System Knows More than any Credential Ever Could That buzzing feeling, those body whispers telling you something needs to change? That internal compass is more reliable than any external validation.
- Your External World Doesn't Change Until Your Inner World Does Your nervous system holds your belief system. The career, the business, the relationship, the creativity, the self expression you are dying for doesn't come through forcing, pushing, grinding, strategizing or more goal setting. It starts with holding and healing the parts of you that got you to the version of you / your life that you no longer align with.
- Change Takes Time It sounds basic but it's often the basic principles that we forget in lieu of fancy personal development lingo and concepts. Change takes time. Healing takes time. It took a long time to become this version of yourself, it will take some time to become the next version.
- Small Actions Lead to Quantum Leaps People like to talk about "Quantum Leaps" but they don't talk about the hundreds if not thousands of steps before that leap. Do not underestimate the power of small, sustainable steps - whether it's your personal healing, starting that business or new job, putting your creativity or expression out in the world....
- Your Lived Experience is your Qualification The way you've navigated your particular path – with your specific sensitivities, challenges, and insights – that's not a liability. That's your unique lens, and it matters.
- Start Before You Feel Ready Do it imperfectly and do it scared. Perfectionism is like death by a thousand cuts. Over time, it can slowly kill you and your dreams. Starting before you feel ready, before you have it all figured out and feeling scared about it – that's not a flaw in the process. It IS the process. The messy beginning is where the magic happens.
- The World Needs Your Unique Expression & Creativity The solutions we're collectively seeking won't come from doing things the same way they've always been done. They'll come from those brave enough to live, create and act from their truth.
Also, it's ok to change. In fact, please do. Just because you start something one way, doesn't mean you have to finish it the same way or at all. Please allow yourself to evolve.
Re-Defining Success
We live in a world obsessed with specific markers to define "success" - job and income status, marriage or relationship status, kids, home etc.
Those aren't inherently wrong or bad metrics and I've come to realize the importance of understanding and defining my own version of success.
In these last 7 years,
I've:
- Ended a business that looked great on paper but was absolutely killing my soul
- Ended a long term relationship I had outgrown
- Healed my nervous system from patterns of stress and deep dysregulation
- Released ancestral and generational patterns of people pleasing, poor boundaries and scarcity
- Ended, took space from or redefined friendships that no longer aligned with the version of myself and my life that I was moving towards
- Got clinically certified (ironically ha) in my life long passion as an EFT Tapping Practitioner
- Led nationwide workshops and retreats
- Finally owned being an Artist
- Signed with an agency
- Finished acting school
- Booked multiple commercials
- Performed improv shows
- Started an Artist Community
- Came out as bisexual
Some of those things may not sound traditionally like "success" but because I got very clear on what success actually meant and felt like to me, much of that having to do with my own self-expression and contribution to society, it got easier to know what to pursue and what not to pursue.
Your Turn: A 7-Year Anniversary Invitation
So here's my invitation to you, wherever you are on your creative, healing or self-expression journey:
If you could be the most expressed version of yourself, what would you do?…..What could you do TODAY?
What would shift if you truly believed your creativity - or expression in general- doesn't need credentials?
What would you start if you trusted that your lived experience is qualification enough?
What small (creative) step could you take today from a place of "I'm already enough" rather than "I need to prove I'm enough"?
Maybe it's as simple as:
- Taking 5 minutes to do something creative without judgement
- Writing that idea down instead of dismissing it as "not professional enough"
- Sharing something you've created without apologizing for being "just a beginner"
- Giving yourself permission to try something new without needing to be good at it
Feel free to reply to me directly, I would love to hear.
A Moment of Gratitude
Before I go, I need to say this:
Thank you for being part of this 7-year journey. Whether you've been here since the beginning or just joining in, you're a significant part of why this path has been not just possible, but deeply meaningful.
Rooting for you,
Bianca
P.S. If you're ready to explore your creativity in community, The Everyday Artist space is waiting for you.